452.

Published on p.27 of Prosody, the Literary Magazine of Dell Med.

‘Code Blue, Room
452.”
Is that us? Unsure, it’s the weekend.
We go anyway.

Up the elevator
Is it wrong to feel
Excited?
Will they know it’s
My first one?

“I have a learner, he’ll be doing
Compressions.”
Oh good, I’ve been
Announced.
Handoff time, I start to get a bit
Nervous.

Leg half on the bed, man this is
Exhausting.
Keep counting, keep pressing
Is it time to switch? No?
Keep going.

Who is this man?
What is his name?
Why is he here?
Wait. If I don’t know him then
Why am I he-
Stop. It’s not
The time for that.
“Good compressions, go a bit
Deeper.”

The quality wanes, so it’s
Transition time, be smooth, then
Wipe off sweat, shuffle away
Catch your breath.
Check? Oh that’s
ROSC.

Time to go, we walk out
No debrief. No time.
Other still remain, now
Back to the ER
Down the elevator and
Out of room

452.
Is that even the number?
Months later I reflect
Now it’s time but
Honestly, I forget.

How to honor someone you
Don’t know?

How can I celebrate?
I’m not sure he’s still here.

How can I grieve?
I’m not sure he’s really gone.

What can I cling on to?
When it’s tough, just remember
ROSC achieved in room

452.